I am single. I've been single for more than a year and a half already. People always tease me on my relationship status. Most of the time, it's fine. But sometimes, it makes me feel less of myself. These people have no idea on what I went through just to get out of that relationship.
Someone once teased me that nobody will take care of me if I get sick. The same person hinted during a bet that I could also get a ticket for two on a certain destination, just bring my mother to use the other ticket. They would pair me on any single guy around. But the worst ever is pairing me to unavailable guys; calling me abangers and the sort. It might be a funny joke. I laughed. But I didn't find it funny. I am never confrontational.
Of course, I miss being with someone. I miss having someone that I could tell stuff after a very tiring day. I miss surprises. I miss getting love letters. I miss going out on weekends. Whenever I feel like crying, or whenever I achieve something, I miss having that constant someone who I could divulge anything about myself and would still love me and will always be proud of me.
But since my last break up, I've done a lot of things in my life. I finished my masters. I moved to another company. I've been going to wonderful places. I am sponsoring a kid in World Vision. I am starting a healthy lifestyle. I'm achieving my dreams one after the other. But apparently, these are not enough. It's always my relationship status that people notice.
People badger me into getting into a relationship. But I don't think I could walk into someone, and tell him that I like him (almost). There are certain things that I choose not to do. My worth as a woman does not depend on having a partner. Sometimes, I am forgetting my strengths because I'd feel small when people look down on me. I am okay to be single, if only I don't have to settle on just anybody. It's okay to be single. But it's not okay to make people feel that they won't be complete without that special someone. Maybe, just maybe.. some people are meant to be single forever.
Or maybe God is still prepping him up for me.