July 21, 2013

I'm not the best person to talk about failed relationships especially if you don't want to hear harsh words.

My friend of 11 years just had his heart broken. We were exchanging messages today, and he told me that they're still seeing each other and I told him to move on and find something else to focus on. He replied, saying I should try to understand him, and he wouldn't like to get harsh words from me at this time. Fine.

I have another friend who also broke up with her boyfriend,and been SMS-ing me like crazy. She's okay most of the time, but she'd oftentimes tells me that she hears about the ex, and it hurts her like crazy. Like, why are you still checking on him?

Another friend of mine told me not be harsh on them, and of all people, it should be me who'd understand. I know it's difficult. I've been there. But the thing is, I've been there and I don't want them to experience the same thing just because they'd want to stay in that stage. The most difficult is the transition from denial to acceptance. The acceptance that it didn't work, despite the fact that you gave your best, and you love this other person, flaws and all.

I am not proud on how I handled the healing process. It was messy. I drunk a lot, I cried a lot. My phone bills shot up. I called friends to tell them the same things over and over again. I got the same advice over and over again. 

One day, I realized that I don't want to drink anymore. I don't want to spend my time waiting for it to be better. I don't want to belittle myself. I have enough of BS to last me a lifetime. I don't even want to talk about him anymore.

I'm sure they'll get to that breaking point. I hope it won't be the same as to what I had. Think, how could you meet the one if you're stuck on the past? It's not about him anymore, or about the failed relationship. But it's about yourself, it's about how you see yourself. You had a good story, but it ended. So move on, and don't put the blame on yourself. Think that you're a wonderful person, and you're sorry it didn't work out. But that's it. Continue to be a wonderful person.

So if my friends, dial my number again, or send me SMS again, they'd better be ready for the harsh words.You'd better listen to the Script instead, or Adele maybe?

Fine, I'd be a good friend, and join them for a drink. :P

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  1. I believe that checking up on your exes and being hurt when they move on is a common practice among people who have had their heart broken.



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