Sane

Happy. I am happy. My heart is not breaking anymore. But I guess, it also stops beating. I prefer it this way.

I am on Sun. I have been a loyal Globe subscriber for years, but decided to switch primary network. Perhaps, because I need to pick the little pieces of my fragile heart. I need to stop doing something I am totally addicted with. I need to be myself again. I lost 'her'. Two years ago, and was not able to claim her back.

Last Christmas, I was all asleep when the clock ticked to 12mn. Early the next day, I got a message from him. Grateful for the friendship. Appreciated of the presence. And I smiled.

Tough.

Ano ba nararamdaman ko?

Hindi ko alam. Mas tama siguro sabihin na ayokong isipin. I hate to be at the losing end. Yun na siguro yung pinaka-tamang sabihin.

Nandito ako sa kung saan ko gustong mapunta, at hindi ko alam kung ano gagawin ko pag kailangan ko na lumisan. Inaamin ko, hindi ako kasing-saya, kasing-kuntento, at kasing-fulfilled ngayon kung ikukumpara sa gusto ko, ngunit, I'm taking each steps at a time...

Siguro, natatakot akong gumulong pababa bago ko marating yung tuktok. Natatakot ako.

Friday na naman. Malungkot. Ako na lang mag-isa.